Frustrated With Your Kids? Take Heart!

I tried not to grin.

My daughter was battling frustration. Her delightful little girl simply refused to play by herself.

Have I done something wrong? My daughter wanted to know.

I heard the frustration in her voice and sympathized with her over what I knew had been a very long day.

And since I knew the words on the tip of my tongue would fall flat if I spoke them in that moment, I kept them to myself.

But here’s what I wanted to say:

Take heart. You may be frustrated with your kids now, but the very things that baffle, exasperate, and exhaust you may be what you’ll celebrate one day.

The Bible says God designs every single one of us before we’re born. He weaves our personalities, preferences, tendencies, and talents exactly as He desires.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit them together in my mother’s womb.

Psalm 139:13

Consequently, both the infant who loves to sleep and the one who wakes his parents every two hours are likely wired that way. So is the kid who belly laughs at a joke and the one who simply grins.

We need look no farther than the Bible for proof that God’s people are designed with weaknesses that He turns into strengths. Before their lives were transformed by the power and presence of God, Moses was timid and unsure and Peter was fiery and impulsive. Yet, God turned what could have been frustrations into examples of strong leadership and steady faith.

That’s what God does with every one of us.

What looks like a character flaw can become a force to reckon with when it’s placed under God’s control and empowered by His Spirit.

Like my little granddaughter, one of my three daughters refused to play alone when she was young. For a long time, I watched other little girls play happily by themselves with dolls or toys. And I wondered why my daughter refused to be content unless someone – anyone – was in the room with her.

Now I know.

Today my daughter finds a friend in absolutely anyone, no matter how different they may be.  I often marvel at how loved and accepted she is by a wide variety of people regardless of their ethnicity, belief system, or social status.

It’s who she is. And it’s who she’s always been.

God created her with a desire to always have another person in the room. Or on the phone. Or texting. Or video chatting. 🙂

And that desire was evident as a toddler when her relentless requests to play left me frustrated with my kids and wondering if my parenting had failed.

So, be patient. And ask God to help you reign in, guide, and shape those characteristics in your children that are a source of exhaustion and frustration for you right now.

Today’s frustrations may be the things you most admire and respect about your children tomorrow.

Your bossy toddler may have leadership qualities simmering beneath her tendency to order her playmates around. And one day that super-sensitive teenager may be extra-empathetic to the feelings of people in need.

Like an old Psalty song used to remind me, we’re all a work in progress:

He’s still workin’ on me

To make me what I ought to be.

It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars,

The sun and the moon and Jupiter and Mars.

How loving and patient He must be,

Cuz He’s still workin’ on me!

Are you frustrated with you kids? Will you commit to pray for wisdom and patience as you ask God to help you shape those frustrations into valuable qualities that you’ll celebrate one day? God is faithful. He will do far more than you can even dream.