I put my girls to bed and then crumpled into a heap on my bedroom floor, first sobbing and then halfway wailing.
My husband had been gone for weeks and the home fires I’d promised to keep burning had imploded on me. His job took him overseas for three months at a time, and I had two little girls at home.
I felt overwhelmed and hopeless
I was overwhelmed and my life felt hopeless. Not because I didn’t like my life. I was happily married with two beautiful little girls, a new home, and a loving family. But I was reacting to strong feelings that had begun to permeate my life:
I was tired. Exhausted. Spent. Not because I was lazy or incapable. On the contrary, I was working harder than I’d ever worked in my life.
I was expecting too much of myself. A host of unrealistic expectations were leading me to despair. None of them came from my husband. I’d heaped them all on myself. I was expecting too much of myself, and mostly because I was comparing myself to every other mom who appeared to have it all together.
I was angry. Things weren’t going my way. My life wasn’t panning out the way I’d imagined it would. Bottom line, I was angry with my husband for leaving me alone. Even though I hadn’t argued against his job, the idea had been his.
As I lay on the floor in despair and allowed my sobs to end, trickles of truth began to seep into my heart. At the time, it was just enough truth to get me back on my feet so I could move forward.
That’s because lies lead to despair, but truth allows hope to rise.
So, when you’re overwhelmed by life, consider these 3 truths:
• When you’re overwhelmed, it’s okay to admit it.
There’s no Superwoman. (Not one that lives and breathes, anyway.)
I was a young mom with demands on my time and a baby who woke up at the crack of dawn. No matter what your life looks like as a mom, employee, caretaker, or a host of other roles, you can’t do it all.
But you can admit you’re weak. You can ask for help. And you can say no to non-crucial activities that compete for your strength.
The world teaches us to be strong and invincible, but the Bible says we’re strongest when we’re weak. Jesus said in response to Paul who wanted his difficulty removed, “But I am with you; that is all you need. My power shows up best in weak people” (2 Corinthians 12:9, TLB).
In other words, when we admit our need for God, we experience an outpouring of His grace. In a sense, THAT’s when we become superwomen. As we admit our weaknesses, God empowers us with supernatural strength.
Another way to admit our weakness is to ask for help from a spouse, family member, or friend. Personally, that’s always been difficult for me, because, again, I want to appear strong rather than weak. But the Bible tells us to “carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galations 6:2, HCSB).
When we’re overtired, overworked, or overstressed, we can allow other Christians to help us. This is how we care for one another.
Finally, examine the activities you’re saying yes to. Are you overtired because you’re saying yes when at times you should say no? Take ownership of your time and learn to choose your yeses carefully.
• Unrealistic expectations will steal your joy.
I was caught up in measuring myself against imaginary expectations that constantly raised the bar. No matter how much I accomplished, in my mind it was never enough. In the end I felt hopeless, worthless, and depressed.
In our social media-saturated culture there’s never been more temptation to compare ourselves to everyone else. And the “everyone else” isn’t even guaranteed to be real.
I made a conscious decision to stop looking around at everyone else. The truth is, we don’t have to measure up to anyone. You can choose to live your own life and make it wonderful. Especially if you focus on answering to God alone.
That’s what Jesus told Martha to do. She was stressed about all the expectations she thought she needed to meet, and “the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary [who sat at His feet] has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41-42, HCSB).
Ask God what expectations He wants you to meet. And don’t worry about the rest.
• Take responsibility for what you can change and decide to be content with what can’t be changed.
I was blaming others and turning myself into a victim. And playing the victim only made me feel helpless and bitter. I needed to heed the Bible’s instructions to “stop your anger! Turn off your wrath. Don’t fret and worry—it only leads to harm” (Psalm 37:8, TLB).
It’s easier to be angry and feel put-upon than it is to take responsibility for change. But if we don’t like our circumstances, it’s our job to try to change them.
Sometimes we simply need to stop fretting about what can’t change.
[Side note: For those who are in circumstances that are physically or emotionally dangerous, this is where you make a decision. If you really are a victim, then by all means get help or get out.]
The day I was completely overwhelmed was a turning point for me. My decision to believe the truth was the beginning of a joyful, blessed life that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.
Fortunately, I knew enough of the Bible to understand that, in Christ, there’s always hope. His presence is always with us and He cares for us, even when we’re crumpled in a heap of despair.
If you’re overwhelmed by exhaustion, unrealistic expectations, or anger, it’s likely you’re overwhelmed by lies like I was. Sort through them. Remind yourself of the truth found in the Scriptures.
Then get up and walk in that truth, believing God will lead you forward one step at a time.
So timely. Thank you, Cindy!