Building Strong Families

My life changed the night Hurricane Camille devastated the Mississippi Gulf Coast.

August 17, 1969. I was 12 years old.

The storm was predicted to be a big one.

My dad and grandfather spent the day of the storm elevating our furniture and refrigerator with concrete blocks. Then my parents, brother, sister, and I headed to my grandparents’  Biloxi home a block from the beach.

 

An unforgettable night

 

Nothing prepared us for the horror of that night. The hurricane arrived as a Category 5. I can still hear the sound of howling winds and rain slamming against windows. The power went out early, so we hunkered around a battery-operated radio hoping for better news than what we feared.

At some point that night, my dad peered through the living room window with a flashlight and saw his car float away. The flood waters were washing in from the beach.

When the eerily quiet eye of the storm arrived, my dad and grandfather opened the front door to assess the flooding. Water had made its way to the top of the front step.

We spent the night in readiness to climb the attic stairs in case the water came any higher.

Fortunately, the water never made it past the top of the stairs. So, the worst was over.

Until morning dawned.

 

“A war zone”

 

That’s when the shock and horror of the storm’s devastation took our breath away.

A war zone. Those were the most common words uttered over the next few days by residents and newscasters who tried to describe the monumental desolation.

Huge piles of debris were slammed all the way up to the bricks of my grandparents’ house. All the way to the beach—as far as the eye could see—were piles and piles of rubble that had been the walls and roofs and appliances and furniture from neighbors’ homes.

 

Before that night,  my grandparents’ street had been lined with houses all the way to the beach. Several on each side.

Now there were none.

My grandparents’ house, built on a solid concrete slab, was the first house standing on their street from the direction of the beach.

All the other homes—most built on wooden foundations and perched on concrete blocks— were gone.

 

A solid foundation

 

That was my first insight into the value of a solid foundation.

Fortunately, none of my grandparents’ neighbors lost their lives, although some had been flung into the flood waters. The neighbor next door had clung to a tree for hours, fighting to hold on while the storm raged.

My family’s home, situated on the bay, had been flooded with eight feet of water. We lost everything.

But we survived.

We made it through.

In the midst of the worst storm to have ever hit the United States at that time, we were safe in a home with a firm foundation.

 

WHY BUILDING STRONG FAMILIES REQUIRES A FIRM FOUNDATION

 

Storms of life are inevitable. No matter how hard we plan and regardless of how conscientious we may be, life simply happens.

And when the storms come, a strong families need a firm foundation.

 

But he who builds on the foundation must be very careful. And no one can ever lay any other real foundation than that one we already have—Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 3:11

 

For Christians, building strong families means our firm foundation is Jesus Christ. All our plans, dreams, and hopes center around His promises. What we do and how we live are determined by His Word.

 

BUILDING STRONG FAMILIES TAKES THE RIGHT MATERIALS

 

A home won’t stand the test of time if proper materials aren’t used during its construction.

When my husband and I built a home years ago, our sub-contractor hired licensed inspectors during various phases of the construction. We made sure we hired skilled workers so we’d pass the county’s inspections. More importantly, we wanted our home to pass the test of time.

We should be just as careful about building strong families.

The Bible says one day our work will be inspected.

 

Some use gold and silver and jewels; and some build with sticks and hay or even straw! There is going to come a time of testing at Christ’s Judgment Day to see what kind of material each builder has used. Everyone’s work will be put through the fire so that all can see whether or not it keeps its value, and what was really accomplished. Then every workman who has built on the foundation with the right materials, and whose work still stands, will get his pay. But if the house he has built burns up, he will have a great loss. He himself will be saved, but like a man escaping through a wall of flames.

1 Corinthians 3:10-15

 

Build it right

 

Like skilled workers, we need to do what it takes to enable our families to endure the test of time. That means we need to build with eternity in mind.

It’s a hard investment. A lot of times Christian families look foolish when they make decisions based not on the fleeting values of this world but on the eternal riches of the next. And, to be honest, sometimes it’s difficult to know what to do.

That’s why we have to acknowledge that we don’t know what it takes to build strong families.

But God does.

He’s the Master Builder, and He holds the blueprints for our families.

He’ll teach us what to do.

 

BUILDING STRONG FAMILIES MEANS LOVING GOD FIRST

 

God’s design for building strong families begins with loving Him more than we love our family members.

That sounds contradictory, doesn’t it?

After all, shouldn’t we love our families?

Of course we should. But to be a Christian disciple (learner) of Jesus, we can’t play games. He requires our first and foremost devotion.

 

Anyone who wants to be my follower must love me far more than he does his own father, mother, wife, children, brothers, or sisters—yes, more than his own life—otherwise he cannot be my disciple.

Luke 14:26

 

God is worthy of our utmost devotion. And when our hearts are wholly His, He leads us to love others well. In fact, His love for us flows right through us and splashes onto others. So, in the end, loving God most is the best way to take care of the families that are so dear to our hearts.

 

BUILDING STRONG FAMILIES REQUIRES COUNTING THE COST

 

Building strong families takes a lot of time and sacrifice.

That’s why Jesus said to count the cost.

 

But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first getting estimates and then checking to see if he has enough money to pay the bills? Otherwise he might complete only the foundation before running out of funds. And then how everyone would laugh! “‘See that fellow there?’ they would mock. ‘He started that building and ran out of money before it was finished!’

Luke 14:28-30

 

We love quick fixes. And Instant Pots😊. We’re busy, distracted, and tired, so we want simple and easy.

But the truth is, there’s no quick and easy method for building strong families.

Instead, building strong, godly families takes a lot of work and a lot of time.

And, to be honest, the most grueling work takes place in your own hearts.

 

BUILDING STRONG FAMILIES BEGINS WITH US

 

If we’re not willing to do the hard work of walking closely with Christ, the foundation of our homes will crack. Then,  when the storms come, they’ll wreak havoc on the families we love so much.

That’s why Jesus said to count the cost.

Are you willing to build your life around Jesus? To take the time to know Him and learn from Him? To tackle the hard work of prayer?

That’s the key to building strong families.

There’s no easy strategy. No best-selling workbook. And no Ten Quick Steps.

There’s just the hard but joyous work of staying intimate with Christ.

We can ask Him  to help us take the next right step as a Christian parent. He’ll help us make the next right decision for our toddlers,  teenagers, and husbands. When no one is acting anywhere near loveable, He’ll give us the power to love and extend grace.  He’ll empower us forgive and say we’re sorry. And He’ll give us the strength to stay in the fight when we want to throw the towel in.

Building a strong family may take everything we have.

But the good news is, Jesus is everything we need.

 

BUILDING STRONG FAMILIES MEANS STAYING IN THE FIGHT

 

When the going gets tough, it’s important to count the cost of giving up.

Jesus said no one goes to war if he doesn’t think he has a chance of winning.

 

Or what king would ever dream of going to war without first sitting down with his counselors and discussing whether his army of 10,000 is strong enough to defeat the 20,000 men who are marching against him? If the decision is negative, then while the enemy troops are still far away, he will send a truce team to discuss terms of peace.

Luke 14:31-32

 

Parenting is hard. To say “I’ve got this” is nothing short of foolish.

 

The enemy of your home

 

There’s a real enemy camped outside the door of every Christian home, seeking to steal and destroy. He’s powerful and clever.

Satan doesn’t always come at us clothed in immorality. We’d recognize him in an instant.

The Bible says he disguises himself as an angel of light. That way he’s harder to recognize.

He may come to your home dressed as busy-ness or over-commitment. He may show you the house in that other neighborhood that makes you resent the one you’re in. Or he could show up with an over-abundance of wine, a few prescription pills, or an invitation for more screen time.

If  none of that works, he’ll stir up resentment, unrealistic expectations, selfishness, or a host of other emotions and feelings that’ll look justifiable but take your family under. He knows you. And he’s armed and dangerous.

That’s why Jesus said you’ve got to count the cost of losing. Of giving in.

Building strong families involves a fight. We have to suit up for battle and prepare to stick it out.

And when the skirmishes get long and the going gets rough, we have to remind ourselves what’s at stake.

BUILDING STRONG FAMILIES REQUIRES BLUEPRINTS

 

 

Blueprints map our every closet, doorway, and electrical socket. A builder simply follows the blueprints to bring a house to life.

God has given us a blueprint for building strong famiies

The Bible has everything we need to know. If we open it and read it, we’ll know God better, we’ll love Him more, and we’ll want to follow Him. And He’ll always lead us to a home with a strong family foundation.

So, let’s open our Bibles, friend!

 

All who listen to my instructions and follow them are wise, like a man who builds his house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents, and the floods rise and the storm winds beat against his house, it won’t collapse, for it is built on rock. “But those who hear my instructions and ignore them are foolish, like a man who builds his house on sand. For when the rains and floods come, and storm winds beat against his house, it will fall with a mighty crash.

Matthew 7:24-27

 

The choice is ours. We can build our family foundation on the solid rock of Jesus Christ or on our own shifting sand. Either way, storms will come. And strong families built on  firm foundations are going to stand the test of time.

1. Know that storms will come. Be ready.
2. Use the right materials. Make decisions with an eternal focus.
3. Love God most. Give Him your all.
4. Count the cost of winning. Work at walking closely with Jesus.
5. Count the cost of losing. Don’t give up.
6. Use blueprints. Depend on the Word of God.