Ninety days.
I counted them up on my calendar, carefully circling DAY NUMBER NINETY.
I was a young mom and my husband worked overseas. He regularly left my two young daughters and me for 90 days at a time to work in the South China Sea.
At the end of 90 days he’d come home for a month. Then he’d return to his job outside of Singapore.
With a two year-old and a newborn, after about 40 days I was one exhausted, stressed-out mom. In pre-Internet days there were no FaceTime calls, emails, or Marco Polo chats to break the long monotony of mothering.
That’s why I had my heart set on that 90th day.
Real disappointment
Invariably, just about the time I let myself start dreaming about my husband’s arrival, I’d get a telegraph from his company’s stateside office. They’d explain that my husband’s relief had gotten sick, someone’s baby was due, or his flight had been cancelled. In other words, the day I’d been longing for had been delayed.
Now, 90 days stretched to 94.
Those four days past the circled date on my calendar may as well have been four years. I remember feeling like there was no way I could possibly live that long.😊 I had set my expectations in stone and the disappointment felt like more than I could bear.
A new perspective
Over time, I got better at learning how to handle disappointment.
Eventually, I stopped checking off the boxes on my calendar. Instead, when I took my husband to the airport I never looked ahead to see when 90 days would end. I stopped planning my life in 90-day increments. And I quit taking note of birthdays and anniversaries my husband wouldn’t be home for.
Learning to live my life one day at a time was my cure for disappointment. Instead of longing for what I couldn’t have, I focused on the joy I that was mine in the moment. Focusing on the blessings I had today instead of thinking about what could have been began to turn my disappointment into contentment.
How to handle disappointment
That’s an attitude I believe could be helpful no matter what you’re longing for. If we set our sights on a certain day on the calendar, bank on a change in circumstances, or depend on someone to come through in a certain way, we may be setting ourselves up for devastating disappointment.
Instead, let’s live one day at a time, thanking God for the blessings that are ours in this moment. When my husband was delayed, I thanked Him for the delight my daughters were to me, for the job that allowed my husband to provide for our needs, and sometimes even for the ice cream I knew I’d devour that night 🙂
We can learn how to handle disappointment by remembering that God is always there in the midst of it. His compassion toward us never ends.
Yet there is one ray of hope: his compassion never ends. It is only the Lord’s mercies that have kept us from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his loving-kindness begins afresh each day
We can’t always escape disappointment, but we can keep it from robbing us of joy. No matter how much disappointment we face today, God’s loving-kindness begins afresh each morning. In other words, we always have an abundant resource for all the grace we need.
Don’t let resentment steal your joy. Take hold of what you can be grateful for in this moment. When we learn how to handle disappointment by counting our blessings, we’ll be happier and better equipped to face the challenges of life.
