The flipping and flopping was painful to watch.
My nephew had landed a fish, and the hook had gone deep. Eager to show off his catch, my nephew pulled, pushed, and twisted the hook in an attempt to dislodge it. I watched the fish fight for its life, flopping near my feet as my nephew refused to give up his struggle.
Within minutes, the fish was a mangled mess. In spite of my nephew’s valiant efforts, the hook had held firm. In the end, the prize he’d been so proud of was ruined.
That’s what my marriage was like.
When I married my husband, I needed everything from him. My emotional grip on him was so tight, it nearly strangled him. Before long, my husband was gasping for relief, and our marriage was a huge mangled mess.
My answer to “Does marriage make you happy?” would have been a resounding NO.
And that’s why―when I see Mary’s response to God―her insight astonishes me.
A better savior
There she was, a young woman―actually, maybe closer to a girl―assigned a task no other human on earth has ever been given. Yet, in spite of all the impossibilities, complications, and repercussions the mission required, Mary responded, “Oh, how I praise the Lord. How I rejoice in God my Savior!” (Luke 1:46-47, HCSB).
How did she know―especially at such a tender age―that she needed a savior more than she needed a husband, the approval of family and friends, or a comfortable life?
None of those things came as a package deal with her assignment. In fact, she had to assume her husband would likely divorce her. And that no one would believe her story about a virgin birth. Mothering the Savior of the World wasn’t exactly a set-up for an easy life.
Complete salvation
If I’d had the kind of wisdom Mary had, I’d have spared my husband a lot of torment.
In a nutshell, I wanted my husband to be my savior. To be everything I needed and to make me happy.
The problem was, even though it was a great line for a movie, my husband wasn’t designed to “complete me.”
Jesus was.
He came to make us whole. To fix our brokenness and neediness. And to save us from judgment.
That’s what Mary knew. More than a husband―more than the approval of family and friends―and more than a life on easy street―she knew she needed a savior.
Does marriage make you happy?
It might. And it might not.
I finally realized ‘you complete me’ isn’t exactly true for marriage but is 100% true when it comes to my relationship with the Lord. When I turned to Him, He filled the deepest longings of my heart.
Over time, God cleaned up the mangled mess of our marriage and taught my husband and me to love each other well. With the empty places in my heart satisfied, I was free to love my husband without demanding from him what he wasn’t designed to give me.
But even if our marriage hadn’t been healed, I would have been complete.
Because Jesus is all we need.
I’m joining my voice with Mary’s today to say “Oh, how I praise the Lord! How I rejoice in God my Savior!”
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