The Marriage Dance | Moving In Step With Each Other

I’ve never known how to dance.

I don’t mean I don’t dance well.

I mean I can’t dance!

On a dance floor in high school―and later under a Disco ball in college―I tried some awkward moves, but it was obvious I have two left feet. So, I left the dancing to others.

Normally I’m okay with knowing I can’t dance, but every now and then it makes me sad.

Like when I attend a wedding. When the reception dance floor comes alive with lively line dancing or slow dancing to old hits, I find myself wishing I could join in the celebration.

Instead, I watch from the sidelines.

So, imagine my delight when I realized my husband and I have now choreographed our own moves!

Although he doesn’t swing me on the dance floor, our marriage has created its own unique movement that brings synchronized beauty to our lives.

Let me explain.

I dream dreams, plan vacations, and paint visions for our future. Then he puts pen to paper, draws out plans, and implements the details.

If I envision a kitchen remodel, he drafts a material list, cranks up his tools, and brings the project to life. Then he does all the construction work while I caulk and paint. Each year as I craft a new  Camp CeCe cousin camp, I put all the plans on paper while he gathers flashlights, maps out a sleeping plan, and organizes my purchased supplies into huge plastic bins.

In a sense, our lives have become a dance.

Not an elaborate choreography, but a beautiful rhythm of acknowledging our own weaknesses and yielding to each other’s strengths.

Good dancers  pay attention to each other.  (I should know, because I’m watched plenty of them from the sidelines.) The best dance partners constantly adjust their moves so they can stay in step.

In the same way, we can’t always take the lead in marriage. Instead, we have to fall in step with each other, humbly acknowledging each other’s strengths and admitting our own weaknesses.

In other words, “Be honest in your estimate of yourselves…” (Romans 12:3, TLB) and give your spouse credit where it’s due😊.

That’s how we become stronger together. And that’s how we learn to enjoy a good marriage dance.

I’ll never be a dancer, but I pray I’ll get better and better at “cutting a rug” at home!

What about you? Have you identified a strength in your spouse that compensates for one of your own weaknesses?

Learning to dance together

If you want to learn to move in step with your own spouse, here are some suggestions from my own marriage:

Admit your weaknesses.

You aren’t perfect, and you don’t have to be. Although there are many wonderful things about you, no doubt there are a few things you don’t do well or that need more work.  Admit them to yourself, to God, and to your spouse.

Look for strengths in your spouse.

More often than not, your spouse will be strong in areas you’re not. (Be careful, because those things may threaten to annoy you!) My husband and I are different in every way imaginable, and I spent a good part of our early marriage trying to change him (to be more like me!). But when I learned the Bible tells us to “dwell on the fine, good things in others,” I decided to focus on the things I appreciate about him. And I was amazed by how many things I discovered.

And now, brothers, as I close this letter, let me say this one more thing: Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about.
Philippians 4:8, The Living Bible

Remind yourself often that, as a result of God’s incredible design for marriage, “the two become one person” (Genesis 2:24, TLB). 

In the delightful, difficult, and often-humbling process of marriage, God uses the strengths of one spouse to balance out the weaknesses of another. And visa versa. So, remember that you’re on one team. And then be willing to use all your assets to fight together for a good, strong,  and happy marriage.

BIBLE VERSES ABOUT MARRIAGE AND OTHER FREE STUFF

I made a list of Bible verses that have helped strengthen my marriage over the years. It’s in my free resource library!